Archives for posts with tag: pain

When you start seminal retention and go on the path of sexual cultivation, things change.  In the previous article, we looked at how to go about handling our powerful sexual desires.  No longer do we have to feel obliged to give into them with masturbation or intercourse.  It does not distract us.  The allure of the feminine no longer takes us away from out mission.

All of this happens within the first 3-7 days.

The next phase occurs during days 7-10.  It is a shift from the physical to the emotional.

For myself, I have noticed that I find the greatest emotional health when I have practiced for at least 10 days, reaching a powerful plateau at around day 30.  I have also noticed that following ejaculation, we lose all of the strength, we lose some of my spine.

In other words, when we ejaculate, men are more prone to displaying neediness, loneliness, victim mentality, freezing in the face of fear, and weak leadership.

On the other hand, when you develop our strength with seminal retention, you’ll grow in three main areas:

  1. The ability to stop everything and become centered.  What I consider a key skill in life.  When you are able to focus with definite precision.  Most of it becomes effortless.  The ability to get into the zone and become present and focused on what is in front of you.  Think about how much you have accomplished when in this state.  Think about all of the good things that have unfolded with women because she could sense this inside of you.
  2. The ability to dig deep and call on an extra 10% of sustainable emotional power.  Sometimes we have to dig deep and find that little big extra.  The challenge of competition and sport.  The killer instinct in our training.  The challenge of confronting real-life issues in our relationships.  The stamina to fuck a woman’s brains out.  Ejaculation makes our reserves feel empty.  When you retain your seed, the fuel in your fire will feel like it is overflowing.  With the right discipline, you can grind it out, harder, faster and longer.
  3. The strength to confront your weaknesses and vulnerabilities.  When we cannot look at ourselves in the mirror, we are living in a world of bullshit.  This is scary for us.  Often we feel ourselves in the verge of crumbling.  We build ourselves up, tell rich tales  to overcompensate to impress our friends.  We tell stories about ourselves to impress women.  Nobody is impressed.  They all see through it.  I believe that you strength as a man begins with your ability to confront your own weakness.  Confront his own bullshit.  When you find the strength of seminal retention, you build the support to hold the fort.  You can dip in and see what’s in there.  The thoughts of not-being-good-enough are no longer daunting for you.  Your fear of abandonment does not have to control you.  You have a place to retreat to, a place to come home to.  And that home is a place of emotional power and strength;  you alone built it.

Joice Esotica

It’s been 30 day since I left the beautiful Joice Joker, back to the other side of the world.  I miss her dreadfully.

I gave myself a few weeks to grieve her loss, and to feel the reality of her absence.  It still hurts, but it is nigh time to push forward towards that horizon.  Firstly, a bit of clarity.  We decided that my departure was best, considering the options on the table.  It was to either stay, or unite our names in matrimony.  It was on the table for a very long time.  In the end, we realised that autonomy and independence are our most precious values.  It was not an option for us.  A crushingly painful decision to have to make, but the correct one.

I will not lie, it has been dreadfully difficult for the pair of us.  Churning emotions, leaden melancholy, and many fearful thoughts have popped up.  It has been a challenge confronting this with utmost honesty, but I believe we are doing this with a certain beauty and integrity.

First time for everything, right?

Indeed, as I sit here writing this, I can only reflect on the many lessons of the past few weeks.  Indeed, the past year has been a period of stupendous growth.  What makes this piece different is it focuses on the end, the breakdown of a relationship.  It is a difficult topic indeed, because we tend to run away from the pain of loss.


Our greatest lessons emerge from times like these.

Here are 7:

  1. Everything has an end.  A relationship ends because someone is driven away by one of two basic impulses.  The first is fear, the second is dread.  Break through the former, but yield to the latter.  Fear is your response to challenge, that there is something beyond that you do not understand.  Do not run from fear, or you are a coward.Dread, on the other hand, is a sense that you are pressing onto a path that is not your life’s purpose.  Alarm bells will begin whispering into your soul, telling you that this is not what you are meant to be doing.  Listen to this.  Suppressing this warming will only lead to torture.
  2. Presence is everything.  We all have a fear of abandonment, that someone will leave us because we are not good enough.  I have discovered that it is particularly acute in women.  When a relationship ends, do everything in your power to remain present.  Never run, even when it becomes difficult. 
  3. Listen, and take care of your partner’s heart.  When someone’s path in life tells them that a breakup is needed, sometimes our crazy heart does a few flips.  That’s okay, it’s part of living.  Learn to seep into your partner’s body here.  This is essential.  Even at the end, show that the relationship was based on trust and understanding.
  4. Pain is another form of love.  If the love was immense, so will be the grief.*sigh…*
  5. Be prepared to confront your dark side.  It always happens when we have emotions writhing away in our bodies.  It tends to push the messed up parts to the surface.  Take this from a man who has spent a few weeks suddenly struck by waves of self-loathing.Most breakups end badly because we are not taught how to deal with this.  We become overcome, and we blame ourselves or our ex-partners.  A breakup is the ultimate test to your emotions, and you will need to be at your best to confront it.
  6. If the love is real, then the connection  will never die.
    A moment for me to sneak in a little message to my girl.My dearest Diana, what a devastating force you were.  Your eyes, your lips, and your flesh.
    My body is heavy, yearning to sink into your skin once more.
    It will happen again.  It is inevitable.
    Always, us, poised; for you to fall and for me to crumble.
    My love, I will see you again.
  7. You are always, always, deserving of love
    Forever always.
    As you read this, remember this.
    Your heart expands.
    Your sex enraptures.
    Breath and life will always be cherished.

Give me those eyes

Those eyes that slay me

At once soft and sweet

Hued with the hum of fire

Pierce me with that flame

And burn me to awaken

Hark, that siren’s call

Mingled in the emptiness

Clutch me in my balls and my spine

Genesis of my brutal love

Slay me, and I will rise

Provoke me, and I will surrender

Ebb and sway

Within the touch of my grasp


Intoxicated with a yearning,

Thunder growing in my throbbing chest

Touch me

Without your hands

A piercing in the dead of those eyes

Slay me with your surrender

Cast me down to die by your gentle gaze

And watch what erupts

Those eyes that slay me

they drive my soul forward

to drive that stake

into both our hearts

So, I stumbled on this article.

A Beginner’s Guide to Anal Play

Fabulous piece.  Very instructive and covers all of the major practical points.  I wanted to expand on it, and go into the psychology of it.  When it comes to fucking a woman’s mind, there’s sex, then there’s anal sex.

So,  why anal sex?  It’s not designed for it, after all.

Quite simply, there are few things more powerful than fucking a woman up her ass.

Do it well.  Do it safely.  Fine the right mix of hardness and softness.

What you will find is that every that is already good in a relationship will be amplified.

Intimacy and Love

Intimacy and love with anal sex?  Yes, absolutely.  When it comes to her rear end, many woman are virgins.  So, it is absolutely important to take care of her.  Trust.  Gentleness.  Desire.  If it’s already there, great.  You’ll find a lot more of it now.

Pain and Pleasure

Try something for a moment.  Grab one of your thumbs with the other hand, and squeeze.  Hard.  Notice how it feels.  This is a good pain.  This is the kind pain we want, as opposed to, say, a papercut.  When it feels like this, your pain and pleasure comes together.  That is why those deep-tissue massages feel so fantastic.  You want her ass to feel the same:  sore and happy.

So, let’s just treat anal sex just like a really great massage.  Prepare her so that she gets used to touch.  Use lubricant so that everything flows freely.  If she feels pain, her muscles have stretched too quickly, or it is too rough.  Slow down, take your time and find your rhythm.

Soon enough, she’ll begin to feel a different pain.  A good pain.

Dominance and Surrender

Generally there are three kinds of sex:  deep and emotional; pure and immersive; hard and powerful.  Anal sex amplifies the third.  If a woman loves fuck-my-brains out sex, she is ready to be fucked up the ass.  It is a brutal way to penetrate a woman, and is only possible if she is willing to surrender.  Make her beg for it.  Make her say please.

Taboo and Risk

Let’s face it.  Anal sex is taboo.  Anal sex is risky.


Taking a sexual taboo – and breaking it – is for the bedroom.  When a woman is turned-on, she is a completely different person.  Fuck taboos.  If she is horny enough, she won’t care.

Sexual risk is also welcome, as long as it is managed.  With some precautions, safety will never be compromised.

Emotion and Fantasy

Anal sex can be deeply emotional.  Penetrating her in a way unlike any other.  It is something she has fantasised about.  She has watched porn-stars do it.  For a woman to want to get fucked up the ass, she must feel an immense level of intimacy, trust and safety.  It’s easy for her to relax in that space.

So, final thoughts.  Obviously, there is much more to anal sex than just this.  You’ll find out.  Get good lube, condoms, a buttplug and take a lot of time.  Anal sex is awesome.  If you remember that her sex is mental, it gets even better.

There is the point where it all implodes.

A thing to behold:

That moment when she curls up, reeling from the burst of emotion.  Orgasmic energy throbbing down her limbs.  Pressing into her chest, soft sobbing begins to seep up, tears sparkling in soft candlelight.  There we go.  Fucking beautiful.

There is a point when it all comes out.  Every woman reaches a point when she comes, deeper and harder than she thought possible.  Her body and her soul opens unleashing a storm.  Through her tears she quenches an ancient, longing thirst.

This leads us to a beautiful truth about the feminine:

Every woman is in pain.

It is a pain that goes deeper than the reach of any brutal force or cold analysis.  It is something wrapped inside her, around her spine. engulfing her chest.  But it is not something to be feared.  This is a beautiful pain.

It emerges when she feels that hunger.

To be loved and cherished.

To blossom.

To feel.

To touch.

And yes, to be ravished.

She feels it in anticipation, and in deep harmony.  It comes during times of loss, despair and fear.  It groans in her sex, screaming in her thrill.  It drives into her skin with touch.  It deepens with burning love.

Yes, pain, pleasure and love, intricately entwined in this ethereal dance.

And from this, we find the next step in delicious life, love and sex.

The 8th way is to fuck her with deep compassion.

Compassion, as I see it, is my ability to understand your pain.  To feel it.  To embody it.  It is the doorway to spirit.

There is the way I will reach out and touch you.  It envelopes the other 7 ways.  It wraps around our limbs, across our skin, and binds myself into you.

Yes, this is how I can hold you, take you and claim you.  This will draw me to you.  It will drive me into you.

But you are the one who must invite me.

You must let it happen.

And here is my invite to you, and every woman on the planet.

What will make me come to a woman is not her sex, nor her elegance, nor her strength, nor her brilliant intelligence.   It is her openness.  How prepared she is to feel that groan, that pain.  Feel it, and express it.  That is the key.

Do this, and I will know.

Yes, this is a woman that feels deeply.

Yes, she engulfs herself in an ocean of love and passion.

Yes, this is the one.

And thus, you become a thing to behold.

A beautiful creature, curled up, reeling from the burst of catharsis.

Fucking beautiful.