Archives for category: Serious talk

RED SILK SMALL LOGO

So, it has been quite a while since I have posted in this blog.  I think this reflects on the many shifts and realignments we have been making with the Red Silk name.  Diana and I are very… flux-like people and it took us quite a lot of time to settle on a theme that we both felt was right.  Above is a beautiful logo we settled on.  I think it does the job nicely.

I wanted to start with why I am doing what I am doing, and why I drove my work in this direction.

Firstly, it is in my nature to take in what I observe and ponder about it.  And I mean really ponder.  I mean I take what I see, work with it, play with it, tinker with it, and eventually grind it down to its minute constituents.  From it’s fragments I hope to grasp a whiff of its essence, to inhale it in its purest form.  I do this with everything I touch.  I taught myself sub-atomic chemistry when I was 10 and particle physics when I was 16.  I simply wanted to understand.  Somewhere in there, I turned my attention on women.

It took me a long time, and involved a lot of blood and sweat to grow my emotional intelligence.  This was not something that came naturally to me, but eventually I found a sweet spot between intuition and raw objectivity.  Unfolding the layers, reading a woman’s movements, and putting words to the shadows I saw in her eyes.  Silently I watched, and I learnt.

At the risk of diving my readers into the deep end, I discovered two essential truths:

The first was that the feminine was flooded in a constant, throbbing pain.  Well, that is not completely fair.  Men have their own, but it was an eye-opener to touch a woman’s flavour.  The proverbial “whole in man’s heart” existed in her as well.  And it was different.  Richer, deeper, heavier in the heart and wider in the body.  Lingering, slumbering, aching inside her, with every word, with every breath.  What was more, the aching was repressed, silenced, prone to invisible surrender;  only in heights of carnal sexual desire did it want to surface.  A brutal, destructive force in the centre of a woman’s essence.

The second realisation was that the pain was vulnerable to penetration.  Penetration.  The centre of the masculine essence.  In its most innocent form it becomes presence.  But presence is meant to be penetrative, because it is penetrative.  Penetration is the key, penetration is the weapon.  In its purity, it strikes, it is destructive, but with integrity, it is freedom, and it is liberating.  The greatest way to penetrate, is to penetrate a woman’s mind.  Through this  you strike her heart and her body.  The greatest form to penetrate:  words, touch, sex.  A lethal combination to unleash orgasmic catharsis.  Integrity is the key.

Red Silk’s purpose, then, is to unleash a wave of feminine catharsis.

First, is to unearth and unshame the well of the hidden.  The silent pain, the silent hunger, the silent groaning inside the cunt of every woman.  Giving voice to this energy, we give voice to the taboo.  It is through the taboo that our true natures are discovered.  We acknowledge the parts of us that we repress and deny, and in doing so we become a fuller part of ourselves.

The second is to awaken the earth-shattering potential of a world of orgasmic women.  There is nothing more beautiful than a pre-, mid- and post-orgasmic woman.  And to penetrate it.  And to watch her cum.  And to tell her to cum.  And to hold her burning and shaking body.  And to watch that pain melt away.  That is the power of penetration.

Joice Esotica

It’s been 30 day since I left the beautiful Joice Joker, back to the other side of the world.  I miss her dreadfully.

I gave myself a few weeks to grieve her loss, and to feel the reality of her absence.  It still hurts, but it is nigh time to push forward towards that horizon.  Firstly, a bit of clarity.  We decided that my departure was best, considering the options on the table.  It was to either stay, or unite our names in matrimony.  It was on the table for a very long time.  In the end, we realised that autonomy and independence are our most precious values.  It was not an option for us.  A crushingly painful decision to have to make, but the correct one.

I will not lie, it has been dreadfully difficult for the pair of us.  Churning emotions, leaden melancholy, and many fearful thoughts have popped up.  It has been a challenge confronting this with utmost honesty, but I believe we are doing this with a certain beauty and integrity.

First time for everything, right?

Indeed, as I sit here writing this, I can only reflect on the many lessons of the past few weeks.  Indeed, the past year has been a period of stupendous growth.  What makes this piece different is it focuses on the end, the breakdown of a relationship.  It is a difficult topic indeed, because we tend to run away from the pain of loss.

Don’t.

Our greatest lessons emerge from times like these.

Here are 7:

  1. Everything has an end.  A relationship ends because someone is driven away by one of two basic impulses.  The first is fear, the second is dread.  Break through the former, but yield to the latter.  Fear is your response to challenge, that there is something beyond that you do not understand.  Do not run from fear, or you are a coward.Dread, on the other hand, is a sense that you are pressing onto a path that is not your life’s purpose.  Alarm bells will begin whispering into your soul, telling you that this is not what you are meant to be doing.  Listen to this.  Suppressing this warming will only lead to torture.
  2. Presence is everything.  We all have a fear of abandonment, that someone will leave us because we are not good enough.  I have discovered that it is particularly acute in women.  When a relationship ends, do everything in your power to remain present.  Never run, even when it becomes difficult. 
  3. Listen, and take care of your partner’s heart.  When someone’s path in life tells them that a breakup is needed, sometimes our crazy heart does a few flips.  That’s okay, it’s part of living.  Learn to seep into your partner’s body here.  This is essential.  Even at the end, show that the relationship was based on trust and understanding.
  4. Pain is another form of love.  If the love was immense, so will be the grief.*sigh…*
  5. Be prepared to confront your dark side.  It always happens when we have emotions writhing away in our bodies.  It tends to push the messed up parts to the surface.  Take this from a man who has spent a few weeks suddenly struck by waves of self-loathing.Most breakups end badly because we are not taught how to deal with this.  We become overcome, and we blame ourselves or our ex-partners.  A breakup is the ultimate test to your emotions, and you will need to be at your best to confront it.
  6. If the love is real, then the connection  will never die.
    A moment for me to sneak in a little message to my girl.My dearest Diana, what a devastating force you were.  Your eyes, your lips, and your flesh.
    My body is heavy, yearning to sink into your skin once more.
    It will happen again.  It is inevitable.
    Always, us, poised; for you to fall and for me to crumble.
    My love, I will see you again.
  7. You are always, always, deserving of love
    Always.
    Forever always.
    As you read this, remember this.
    Your heart expands.
    Your sex enraptures.
    Breath and life will always be cherished.

Some thoughts bared on sex and culture.

It was a few years ago when my niece came for a visit.  It was a regular, sunlit afternoon in Australia.  I was doing some work on my laptop, and at the time, I had a lovely wallpaper from my favourite erotic site, AbbyWinters.com:  a lovely image of girls in kiss and caress.

3-year-old Christy came in, saw the pink skin on my screen, and pointed at it.

“That’s yucky.”

Harmless at the time, I simply chuckled.  “Not it’s not”

“Yes it iiissszzz.  That’s yucky!”

I turned my gaze towards her, then back the smut on my screen, and back to her again.

“Your mummy told you that, didn’t she?”

Christy became still and silent for a moment, pausing to contemplate my question.  She’s a thinker this one.  Without answering, she turned and shuffled away, shuffling away to find something to play with.  Nonchalant.

It was a moment that has stayed with me for a while.  That a little girl, innocent, sweet and bright-eyed, could be instructed to react to sex with feelings of disgust and shame.  I know that feeling well.  Not only did it take me time to burst out of that repression, it took even longer for my sex to grown and mature.

I wonder if there will be a day when sexuality can remain free and open.  I believe that it is our duty to cultivate sexuality, the same way we cultivate self-esteem or self-identity.  It is too primal an energy.  When that day comes, issues like homosexuality, age disparity and marketing won’t become hot issues like they are today.

But I will say one thing.  To live a life with my sex as a burden, is a terrible, excruciating, silent pain to live with.