It’s interesting to me to witness the awareness of the masculine-feminine dynamics.  It has almost become a catchphrase that has come into use, a kind of fallback to explain the travesties that we experience as men and women.

The first time I saw these expressions in a contemporary setting was at a business/self-development conference.  I opened the provided workbook and saw it in the relationships section.  Written in cold hard ink, printed onto the page.  It almost made me sick to my stomach.

What bothered me was not the content itself, but how painful it had to be to learn it so cerebrally.  It reminded me how far away from out naturally selves we had come as a species, to had forgotten something so basic and fundamental.  As though we had forgotten how to breathe.

I for one, had to struggle deeply and look deep into my soul.  It was a strenuous experience, reaching in to grasp my dormant power, shredding my own skin to tear out the vesicles of artificial living.  It is a process of necessary pain, to birth that beast inside.  We are shrieking in the silence, the darkness, to find that space for ourselves.

And yet, to my own knowledge, I believe that we are going about it the wrong way.  For one, writing it onto a piece of paper, thinking about it, talking about it.  It is a path to ultimate wankhood.  It bothers me when I see men and women discuss it so openly, talking about it constantly.  I can see the work they are lacking, the pain that they are yet to endure, to feel, writhing within.

Feeling the dynamics of our masculine-feminine is a painful process.  It lies deep under layers and layers of subconsciousness.  In those depths, there are levels of horror and agony that cannot be expressed in words, at its centre a feeling of bliss that cannot be expressed in consciousness.  It is absurd to even put it on a piece of paper.

The way forward, I believe, lies in meditation.  Not meditation in the traditional sense.  Rather a meditation in which something is conceived so deeply, with so much penetration, it becomes it opposite.  When my masculine aura becomes distinctly feminine.  It is a place where I look into myself, pierce myself, use my sexual forces to implode myself.  Then I find who I am, the dynamics within, and from that place, I feel my power force outwards.