It is the black

when my instincts grip and my senses crawl

around, inside, and outside

claws grip onto the air

my eyes look to pierce the burning snow

meditating on the sound of the wind

the breeze brings in the songs of fortune

the black

burning fire of no light

reeking of pain charred into ash

from the grains of charcoal dew

arise the beast of no earth, no few

no face

no eyes

no sense

reaches out from the heart of steel

the black


My Lady is Sharp

She clings to the sheets and rips them from the mattress

She grinds into the bed and presses into the springs with her hips

She breaks open and shows me a crack into her body

She opens, and closes, clutches me close with her claws

My lady is sharp

She digs her nails where it’s softest

She grips at air with her breath

She clenches on bone and on marble

She rips the heat and she  casts it

My lady is sharp

Her ripping, her shredding, her anguish

My lady is sharp

Her bites to strengthen her grip

My lady is  sharp

She digs in deeper  to feel it

My lady is sharp




And then softness


What is sex?

Today in a facebook group, someone posted this topic.  What is sex, what is virginity?

Of course, for an adult, this is on the surface an absurd, juvenile question.  It reminds me of my teenage years, when us young folks would practice cunni and fellatio and call ourselves ‘technical virgins’.  ha.

However, perhaps as we grow older and mature sexually, the question changes, and as ever, challenges our self-image.  The questions change, and become more complex.

What is sex?  What is love?  What is fucking?  Where is the line?

What sex do I like?  Do I want to brutally take her?  Do I caress her softly?  Do I kiss her on the lips before a sharp whipping?

One of my most valuable lessons came after asking myself the question:  how do I know, when to make love to her tenderly, and when to fuck her brains out?

Time passed, and the answers, I found, came out of only one source.


And instinct.

To trust myself, and back myself.  What to say, what to do, how to act.  Action in the presence of a woman.  Hardness and softness.  All of it.  Intuition and instinct.

I think this is something born within every man, but it takes longer to cultivate.  When I think about it, I disparage every piece of “relationship advice” for men I read.  It’s rubbish.  It misses the point.  We should not be giving them answers to trivial relationship problems, we should be cultivating masculine power.

Forget all you read.  Throw out all the “6 steps to looking sexy” articles.

Listen to your body.

Feel it in your cock and balls.

Watch what her body is telling you.

This is sex.

It is the moment when she opens in your presence.  And then you strike.  And you penetrate.

After a while, physical sex is a joyful play.  Orgasms become trivial.

Deep penetration… ah now.  That’s what I am looking for.

Cumming so hard your back breaks in half.  Do you yearn for your body to stretch to shreds?

Piercing her mind with words.  Do you yearn to be driven mad with invading thoughts?

Shattering her heart with songs.  Do you want your chest to burst?

Melting into her soirit with endless cum.  Do you want your soul to be pierced with light?

This is sex.  It is not a random set of ideas, definitions, orgasms.  It is penetration that shatters all that once was, what made you who you were.  It leaves your body limp and lifeless, gasping for breath.  Your body emerging, sweating heat, blood filled with cum.  Yes, sex that destroys you and forces your world to change.  That is sex.


So, it has been quite a while since I have posted in this blog.  I think this reflects on the many shifts and realignments we have been making with the Red Silk name.  Diana and I are very… flux-like people and it took us quite a lot of time to settle on a theme that we both felt was right.  Above is a beautiful logo we settled on.  I think it does the job nicely.

I wanted to start with why I am doing what I am doing, and why I drove my work in this direction.

Firstly, it is in my nature to take in what I observe and ponder about it.  And I mean really ponder.  I mean I take what I see, work with it, play with it, tinker with it, and eventually grind it down to its minute constituents.  From it’s fragments I hope to grasp a whiff of its essence, to inhale it in its purest form.  I do this with everything I touch.  I taught myself sub-atomic chemistry when I was 10 and particle physics when I was 16.  I simply wanted to understand.  Somewhere in there, I turned my attention on women.

It took me a long time, and involved a lot of blood and sweat to grow my emotional intelligence.  This was not something that came naturally to me, but eventually I found a sweet spot between intuition and raw objectivity.  Unfolding the layers, reading a woman’s movements, and putting words to the shadows I saw in her eyes.  Silently I watched, and I learnt.

At the risk of diving my readers into the deep end, I discovered two essential truths:

The first was that the feminine was flooded in a constant, throbbing pain.  Well, that is not completely fair.  Men have their own, but it was an eye-opener to touch a woman’s flavour.  The proverbial “whole in man’s heart” existed in her as well.  And it was different.  Richer, deeper, heavier in the heart and wider in the body.  Lingering, slumbering, aching inside her, with every word, with every breath.  What was more, the aching was repressed, silenced, prone to invisible surrender;  only in heights of carnal sexual desire did it want to surface.  A brutal, destructive force in the centre of a woman’s essence.

The second realisation was that the pain was vulnerable to penetration.  Penetration.  The centre of the masculine essence.  In its most innocent form it becomes presence.  But presence is meant to be penetrative, because it is penetrative.  Penetration is the key, penetration is the weapon.  In its purity, it strikes, it is destructive, but with integrity, it is freedom, and it is liberating.  The greatest way to penetrate, is to penetrate a woman’s mind.  Through this  you strike her heart and her body.  The greatest form to penetrate:  words, touch, sex.  A lethal combination to unleash orgasmic catharsis.  Integrity is the key.

Red Silk’s purpose, then, is to unleash a wave of feminine catharsis.

First, is to unearth and unshame the well of the hidden.  The silent pain, the silent hunger, the silent groaning inside the cunt of every woman.  Giving voice to this energy, we give voice to the taboo.  It is through the taboo that our true natures are discovered.  We acknowledge the parts of us that we repress and deny, and in doing so we become a fuller part of ourselves.

The second is to awaken the earth-shattering potential of a world of orgasmic women.  There is nothing more beautiful than a pre-, mid- and post-orgasmic woman.  And to penetrate it.  And to watch her cum.  And to tell her to cum.  And to hold her burning and shaking body.  And to watch that pain melt away.  That is the power of penetration.

It’s interesting to me to witness the awareness of the masculine-feminine dynamics.  It has almost become a catchphrase that has come into use, a kind of fallback to explain the travesties that we experience as men and women.

The first time I saw these expressions in a contemporary setting was at a business/self-development conference.  I opened the provided workbook and saw it in the relationships section.  Written in cold hard ink, printed onto the page.  It almost made me sick to my stomach.

What bothered me was not the content itself, but how painful it had to be to learn it so cerebrally.  It reminded me how far away from out naturally selves we had come as a species, to had forgotten something so basic and fundamental.  As though we had forgotten how to breathe.

I for one, had to struggle deeply and look deep into my soul.  It was a strenuous experience, reaching in to grasp my dormant power, shredding my own skin to tear out the vesicles of artificial living.  It is a process of necessary pain, to birth that beast inside.  We are shrieking in the silence, the darkness, to find that space for ourselves.

And yet, to my own knowledge, I believe that we are going about it the wrong way.  For one, writing it onto a piece of paper, thinking about it, talking about it.  It is a path to ultimate wankhood.  It bothers me when I see men and women discuss it so openly, talking about it constantly.  I can see the work they are lacking, the pain that they are yet to endure, to feel, writhing within.

Feeling the dynamics of our masculine-feminine is a painful process.  It lies deep under layers and layers of subconsciousness.  In those depths, there are levels of horror and agony that cannot be expressed in words, at its centre a feeling of bliss that cannot be expressed in consciousness.  It is absurd to even put it on a piece of paper.

The way forward, I believe, lies in meditation.  Not meditation in the traditional sense.  Rather a meditation in which something is conceived so deeply, with so much penetration, it becomes it opposite.  When my masculine aura becomes distinctly feminine.  It is a place where I look into myself, pierce myself, use my sexual forces to implode myself.  Then I find who I am, the dynamics within, and from that place, I feel my power force outwards.

That moment when the beast awakens.

It all comes to focus.  Yes.

I am talking about that magic moment when everything becomes clear, simple, and elegant.  It is hunger, and it is bloodlust.

It is that moment when the sexual power implodes into itself.  A moment, roughly 20-30 days into a period of sexual cultivation.  This is what we were meant to feel as men.

Keep it simple, and stay silent.  No more need to speak of it.  You will see.  It will raise you.  Things won’t be able to touch you, to harm you.  But oh, how you will go out for it.  With passion.  With love.  With power.  With vigour.

When you start seminal retention and go on the path of sexual cultivation, things change.  In the previous article, we looked at how to go about handling our powerful sexual desires.  No longer do we have to feel obliged to give into them with masturbation or intercourse.  It does not distract us.  The allure of the feminine no longer takes us away from out mission.

All of this happens within the first 3-7 days.

The next phase occurs during days 7-10.  It is a shift from the physical to the emotional.

For myself, I have noticed that I find the greatest emotional health when I have practiced for at least 10 days, reaching a powerful plateau at around day 30.  I have also noticed that following ejaculation, we lose all of the strength, we lose some of my spine.

In other words, when we ejaculate, men are more prone to displaying neediness, loneliness, victim mentality, freezing in the face of fear, and weak leadership.

On the other hand, when you develop our strength with seminal retention, you’ll grow in three main areas:

  1. The ability to stop everything and become centered.  What I consider a key skill in life.  When you are able to focus with definite precision.  Most of it becomes effortless.  The ability to get into the zone and become present and focused on what is in front of you.  Think about how much you have accomplished when in this state.  Think about all of the good things that have unfolded with women because she could sense this inside of you.
  2. The ability to dig deep and call on an extra 10% of sustainable emotional power.  Sometimes we have to dig deep and find that little big extra.  The challenge of competition and sport.  The killer instinct in our training.  The challenge of confronting real-life issues in our relationships.  The stamina to fuck a woman’s brains out.  Ejaculation makes our reserves feel empty.  When you retain your seed, the fuel in your fire will feel like it is overflowing.  With the right discipline, you can grind it out, harder, faster and longer.
  3. The strength to confront your weaknesses and vulnerabilities.  When we cannot look at ourselves in the mirror, we are living in a world of bullshit.  This is scary for us.  Often we feel ourselves in the verge of crumbling.  We build ourselves up, tell rich tales  to overcompensate to impress our friends.  We tell stories about ourselves to impress women.  Nobody is impressed.  They all see through it.  I believe that you strength as a man begins with your ability to confront your own weakness.  Confront his own bullshit.  When you find the strength of seminal retention, you build the support to hold the fort.  You can dip in and see what’s in there.  The thoughts of not-being-good-enough are no longer daunting for you.  Your fear of abandonment does not have to control you.  You have a place to retreat to, a place to come home to.  And that home is a place of emotional power and strength;  you alone built it.

Lance Armstrong is full of shit.

That is my honest assessment.  It has been troubling for me, as an avid follower of the great Tour, to watch it’s greatest champion fall into such disgrace.  I honestly gave him the benefit of the doubt.  It was such a magnificent story, rendered, promoted and distributed.

Unfortunately, it is all full of shit.

I cannot help but feel disturbed when I look at the archival footage featuring the man vehemently denying his guilt.  He is very convincing.  He makes his statements with passion and authority.  He demonstrates conviction in his demeanour and delivery.  My assessment when watching these videos today is that he is a pathological liar.

Lance Armstrong is full of shit.  And now, after losing everything, he is trying to salvage the situation.  He is trying to weasel himself out of a disaster.  I’m sorry, but this is all too transparent.

And then I watch these videos, and I ask myself why?  Why would he do this for over a decade?

And what was there to gain?  Success?  Personal glory?

Yes, sacrifices must be made, but I wonder how obsessed must a man become before he sacrifices personal integrity.  Surely, for all this time, there was a part of him that knew it was complete bullshit.  How do you repress that idea, that your life is a lie?  That you are a global conductor of bullshit?

Maybe the drug of glory is too addictive.  Maybe it is the glee of getting away with it.

Let’s say there are lessons we can pull from this.  In the spirit of this blog, what can we learn?


There is the question of using your intelligence as a self-managing bullshit detector.  Often, we espouse the idea of honesty and openness in ourselves.  I do not think this is a good strategy.  Our brains were developed according to the forces of sexual selection and deception.

The first step of honesty is to realise that you are prone to self-deception.

Catch yourself when you in the midst of your own bullshit.  It is not a logical thing.  It is an intuitive thing.  It is a gut thing.

You will say to yourself, “Hey, you know that thing I was thinking/doing/living, that is actually complete bullshit”.

Then take note of when you try to get away with it.  You know what I mean.  That smug feeling when you connive a guilty pleasure, just for you.  Stop it.  Cut it out.  Learn from it and replace it.  Do something different.

As men, we grow from facing our challenges.  Our first and greatest challenge is self-deception.


Every decision, action and reaction you have has consequence.  Own the impact you make on others.

Take complete responsibility for every single thing that happens in your life.  You must live your life dynamically, and it will shift the world around you.

Take responsibility and credit when good things happen.  Be humble.

Take responsibility and be honest when it hits the fan.  Be open and direct.

What you do, what you say, impacts others.  Yes, they are responsible for how they react.  You are responsible for how you treat them. You are responsible for your integrity when you interact with them.  It is a partnership, an agreement.  Do not violate that.  Sometimes you will make mistakes.  Apologise, explain yourself and do what is right to redeem your actions.

Your gut will lead the way.


Beware when your actions only serve your own glory.

When a man is obsessively seeking out recognition and success, he is a boy seeking approval and status.  He may achieve it all, realise it all.  But what does it matter?  When you die your ashes won’t care about the glory.  What is the use of a famous name to a pile of dirt and bones?

Service is the only thread that matters in the fabric of time.  Make your efforts live to serve.

Let us take that to radical lengths.

What service would cause ripples that go out beyond you?  Outside of you?  Past your lifetime?

What legacy can be left behind that can be built by your successors?

Beware chasing the fame and the glory.  Do not make it the goal.  Make it a bonus.

What if arousal was a state of being?

Not just a moment of fleeting carnal desire.  Rather, a slow, brooding consciousness.

Not tearing a hole in your mind’s eye, wrought with passion.  Rather, a slow, controlled brooding, peeling back the layers, a process of meticulous penetration.

This is arousal as a state of being.

After days of practice, this is the beginnings of transmutation.  Focus and presence.  That is what it turns into.

When I first began my journey teaching myself the ins and outs of seminal retention, I reached forward with only a faint idea what I was looking for.  It was a daunting prospect, that there was a way to enhance the sexual energy my body permeated.  The idea that there was so much more in my potential.

5 years later, and I can say I have a much deeper understanding of my body, able to harness my powerful sexual desires, and create a healthier self-image physically, emotionally and sexually.  Taking hold of our sexual energy gives men our spine, something that we can find missing in our lives.  Instead of posturing, huffing and puffing with our chests pushed out, we find a quiet, deep, peaceful power that radiates from inside our chests.  A heart-felt masculine power.

For beginners, it can be overwhelming if we dive into the literature.  We can be flooded with a fall of articles, books and techniques.  I find it is best to keep it simple:

Don’t ejaculate for 3-7 days and feel how your body responds.

Feel what it is like to have your sexual energy build.

Typically, this will be very difficult.  Men today tend to masturbate to pornography whenever the faintest urge arises.  It tends to be a quiet, solo affair that lasts for a few minutes.  It’s called a “genital sneeze”.  It can give us relief from our sexual desire, but it does not give us the deep satisfaction that we ultimately crave.  Instead, it can leave us empty and deflated.  You know what I’m talking about.

So, don’t ejaculate for a week, and see what happens.

Most likely, the urges and desires will become overwhelming.  You will be flooded with constant thoughts for sexual relief.  It will keep you awake at night, torn and stressed.  Emotionally you will feel vulnerable, worn out.  I remember the first time I did this, panting and crazed.  A female friend of mine observed my torture.  I remember saying to her,

“I would kill a priest in a church if I could get 20 minutes of head.”

To which she replied, “It would have to be GOOD head”, licking her lips with a mischievous grin.  Go figure.

Most of the time, we don’t want to admit to ourselves that we can be overcome by this rising explosion of desire.  It takes over our thoughts, our emotions.  We feel guilty and ashamed that we cannot control ourselves.  We hide it for fear of being reprimanded.  Society does not appreciate such a raw, unrefined sexual power.  So it’s either masturbate or suffer.

Seminal retention is the way to  find control and refinement over our sexual selves.  By doing so, you can find your deep, primal and noble power as a man.

to be cont…


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